6 dependents

Shrimp Wars | August 6, 2009

After alot of soul searching I have decided to launch a team of people who are dedicated to the saving of the common shrimp-(any of several small, long-tailed, chiefly marine crustaceans of the decapod suborder Natania, certain species of which are used as food). 

I have become aware that due to certain ginormous restaurant chains who because of legal reasons we are going scramble the name of (der sterlob)-the shrimp may become extinct by the year 5698.  This is mainly due to “shrimp fest” and other all you can eat specials geared specifically at the tiny creature that as of this date has never intentually harmed a human. 

Yet we fry these babies up like they just don’ t matter.  then we dipped them in cocktail sauce and maybe then take a bite of a hush puppy and then a little nibble of cheesy biscuit…see…see they have us wrapped around their fingers like puppets. No more I say..I will take to the seas..I will disrupt the net boats..I will rally..I will protest…I will not rest until these innocent shrimp cover the seas like a blanket of locusts.

I need your help.  I need a boat to do this.  I need a very nice boat that has to look like a really nice fishing boat.  It will need to be a Boston Whaler around 30′ with down rigers and out riggers.  It must have fish finders, GPS, TV’s, and lot’s of fishing poles and such.  This way nobody will be suspicious. 

Please give.  Please give generously.  You can be a part of something that is bigger than you.  When you sleep at night you will know that the coastline is being protected and you may have saved a shrimp that very night.

Soon, with your help, when I get my boat-Operation Crustacean Liberation will launch into action and I will most likely get my own TV show.  Which is cool.  Cause it just is, and you know it.EVAC GALVESTON


Posted in Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. ok….this is funny, I am proud to be your wife.

    Comment by 6dependents — August 7, 2009 @ 7:59 am


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About author

Ongoing saga of Thomas Wirthlin. Jesus is Big, could be bigger. Hottie wife, 4 great kids and 2 dogs that are too human. Brain usually in a movie and live my life in my own screenplay.

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